Yup, go ahead and get depressed. It’s time.

It’s official; it’s time to get depressed. It’s time to hang your head and cry. It’s time to eat yourself into a coma and fall asleep under the piano for a week. It’s gotten that bad, and if you can stop eating massive amounts of cheep pizza and cold Buffalo wings for a few minutes I’ll tell you why.

1st Mehmot Okur. Unless you’re a Nyquil addict and haven’t been awake at all this last weekend, you’d know that Okur has torn his Achilles and is out for the remainder of the season (playoffs). That’s bad right? Let me show you why it’s eat yourself into a coma bad… He may not ever come back from this one. Yes he’ll probably play again, but odds/history show that he won’t ever be the same.

Let me show you. Elton Brand averaged 22 pts 10 rebs 53% shooting in the 3 seasons prior to Achilles injury. Since, 13 pts 8 rebs 46% shooting. Next up, Voshon Lenard tore his Achilles on night 1 of the 2004 season he came back to play in the final 2 games of the season, but has never really recovered. He was 31 years old at the time of the injury. Yup, go ahead and fall asleep under the Piano.

2nd Carmelo Anthony’s 42 against Utah on the 17th… this is just a sign of things to come. He is that good and without Kirilenko to at least slow him down he could do it every night. He is an elite player that will cause more than a few tears for any Jazz fan. Hang your head and cry poor sucker. Hang your head and cry.

3rd A.K. re injured his dang calf! A calf! How do even get a serious calf injury?!? I mean seriously, can they please lie to us and just say his calf fell off! I would feel so much better if when I saw him laughing behind the jazz bench in his suit he was holding his calf in his hands… like a bratwurst! At this point the grease from the cold pizza has caused a slight slowing of blood to the brain.

4th Harvey Unga: Now I don’t care if you’re not a BYU fan. I don’t care if you’re a UNLV, TCU, or even a UTAH fan. The Mountain West Conference is better off with this man in the Cougar backfield. He is a legitimate power back with a shiftiness that is unmatched by any BYU back that has ever played. His leaving school due to Honor code Violation is as depressing as it could get for any BYU fan… or even a college football fan in general. And with that the 11th cold BBQ wing slides down your throat… slightly salty from the tears it caught prior to entering you mouth.

And finally 5th your [insert loved one here] calls you to try and talk you out of the house, and out of your depression and uses the line, “it’s just a game”. That’s it; Wake me up in like six days. I’ll be under the piano.

Stats courtesy of Locked on Sports